One Drink, Two Drink, Three Drinks More

I have always enjoyed alcohol. Fortunate to have gone to college before the drinking age went up to 21, I had the pleasure not only of simply drinking too much at raucous, adolescent parties during the weekends, but also learning to sip cocktails as I blithely (and unsuccessfully, I should add) attempted to impress the cultural elite that would regularly visit the school. In so many ways, alcohol served as a social lubricant, one that in the mix (mostly) feels good.

Over the past few years something has begun to change. I’ll come home from work around 5 PM and have a drink with my wife. One drink almost always turns into two before dinner. Then I might (but usually don’t) have some wine with dinner. After dinner, though, is when it gets going. Tired from the day, my first two drinks, and the dinner, I have little mind to so much else on my to do list. My kids more or less take care of themselves as well as the clean-up tasks. So it’s around 7:30, and I might pour myself a scotch.

As the chaos of the evening dies down and the kids are in bed, I might pour another as I read or watch some TV. Just as often, though, my wife will bring up some lingering issue that upsets me. Maybe it’s some trivial decision that she does not want to make herself. Maybe it makes me anxious about money. Maybe it is simply that she gets tired early and wants to go to bed without having sex with me. In such cases, another drink or two might be in the waiting.

I am fully functional. Once in a rare while (only on weekends) I will wake up with a hangover, but otherwise I am ready to start each day fully. I never drive when I am drunk, and I never get angry or aggressive. I have never missed a day of work because of drink. The stupid things that I do at night alone as a result of drink (to be blogged about at some future point) ultimately are inconsequential.

But I don’t like it. The drink feels good and dulls some of my anxieties, but I am fully aware that it does not add to the quality of my life. Additionally, it might be the culprit for why I cannot seem to lose weight. I should cut back.

This week I have begun. Two or three drinks a night should be plenty, and I’ve basically kept to that. It is not terribly difficult, but I need to make an effort. It is not my body the craves it now, but a force of habit. I struggle to find ways to keep myself busy when I’m bored and tired at night, and to face whatever anxieties rise during vulnerable times.

What I really struggle with is the evening drink with my wife. I really enjoy it (as does she), but I know it sets me up for problems later. What I feel I should do is use that time not to touch base with her, but to play with my kids. Then we can move from there to dinner, and then touch base over a nightcap. Habits are difficult to break, but that’s the plan.

Eat Our Veggies

Penny Thoughts provides eleven tips for eating more and better vegetables.  Every one of them makes sense, but I remain skeptical.

Let me start with a sincere compliment:  We love good fresh vegetables and always are looking to eat more.  So I very much appreciate the impulse behind this post.

Yet while these suggestions makes sense in an abstract way, and may even work for a childless couple of a certain income range and living with access to good veggies, they break down somewhat in my life.  There are two major barriers to eating more good vegetables, and they are predictable: time and money.

1.  The bulk of these suggestions take time that we simply do not have.  With three children and two working parents – even when one blogs instead of doing more productive things – who has time (or space in the kitchen) to keep a dry board?  Menu planning?  Sounds like a great idea, but how much time does it take to do?

2.  Vegetable preparation is time consuming.  There is simply no way to get around this.  After a day at work the last thing I want to do is wash, peel, and chop enough great vegetables to feed five people.  Given that possibility or the option of opening a bag of frozen vegetables, guess which is often going to win.

3.  I’ve always been attracted to the idea of picking up great vegetables on the way home from work that I could then whip up that night – the European model.  But where?  I could keep track of which farmer’s market is where within striking distance locally on each day and precisely when (i.e., they are typically there only for a few hours), but that would require building my day’s schedule around vegetables.  Plus I would have to bring the car to work, which strikes me as a perverse way to live -  the cost for good organic vegetables is taking a car rather than a bike?

4.  That leaves Whole Foods, which is convenient although it does not solve the car problem.  The vegetables are reasonably good, but expensive!  It is one thing to buy enough designer greens for a salad for me and my wife, but to regularly feed our ravenous children at such a level would require further excursions into our sinking home equity.

5.  So now I’m at the fallback option, weekly trips to the supermarket.  Its convenient and relatively inexpensive.  The vegetables often largely suck, and carry a whiff of all the bad things that taint modern agriculture.  And yes, every week I throw out rotten produce.

I am not giving up.  I do stop at farmers’ markets when I can, and I try to minimize waste.  I would love to eat a fresh, local, ripe tomato everyday rather than that thing I get at the supermarket.  What I need, though, are real solutions for real people.